Best Quote of the year

HortonHorton Posts: 26,965 Administrator
edited September 2011 in Other Stuff
From my email today:
"Stupid sport. Why can't I just be addicted to drugs like regular people?"

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Comments

  • "If you are gonna be dumb, you'd better be tough"!
    Am I a jumper that wants to be a slalom skier? Or a slalom skier that wants to be a jumper?
  • thagerthager Posts: 4,389 Mega Baller
    That run smells like fish!!
    Stir vigorously then leave!
  • Razorskier1Razorskier1 Posts: 3,425 Mega Baller
    In line with Horton's opener. Background: my wife has skied for 22 years, but only did one year in the course about 10 years ago. At that time she could run 28 and 30, and get some buoys at 32mph (15 off). My son just left for college, so she decided to use his time slot to ski the course again. This was about 5 weeks ago. So her first day she makes some 28s and feels pretty good. Not long after, she has a day were she makes six 30s in a row. She is super pumped. Last week she makes some 30s, and runs a 32! Now she is really thinking this is a great sport. Then this morning happened . . .

    She misses her opener at 28. Makes the next one but it's sloppy. Runs a couple more and wants to speed up. 28 is too slow she says -- making bad habits waiting for the ball. Up to 30 we go. Misses first one at 4 and rides out. Misses second at 6 and rides out. Then a mix of misses and makes. Runs through 5 and misses. She throws the handle and lets out a yell. I come back and the ski is still on. She says, "I can't wait until ski season is over -- this is stupid! Now pull me up!".

    Clearly she's become a course skier -- cuz we've all been there!
    Jim Ross
  • jayskijayski Posts: 731 Mega Baller
    "your not good enough to get mad at this sport..."

    Was told that during a golf game, but pretty much applicable every where...
  • Than_BoganThan_Bogan Posts: 6,300 Mega Baller
    These are great, but Razor's wife may be the winner thus far. That is pretty classic.
    Nathaniel Bogan -- GUT Padawan
  • HortonHorton Posts: 26,965 Administrator
    @jayski I dare you to say that to my wife.

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  • 6balls6balls Posts: 5,012 ★★★Triple Panda Award Recipient ★★★
    "What are you working on this set, Robert? Conditioning..."

    After a fall in practice; "Thank you for your $55 dollars, have a nice day. Do come back and see us again next year."
    Dave Ross--die cancer die
  • Razorskier1Razorskier1 Posts: 3,425 Mega Baller
    Lucky-isms: "if you can't win, why are you here".

    Lucky: "what are you doing?"

    Me: "trying to do what you said"

    Lucky: "did I tell you to try?"
    Jim Ross
  • DUSkierDUSkier Posts: 143 Baller
    There is only TWO ways to slow down a Slalom Ski
    1.Get on the Front of the ski.
    2. Get on the back of the ski.
    AND THREE. Edge change on time!!!!
    Nigel Sparrow
  • Razorskier1Razorskier1 Posts: 3,425 Mega Baller
    I love Lucky. Skied with Ron Scarpa once. His comment (and consider the source) -- "that guy is PURE redneck!" I still think he's a hoot.
    Jim Ross
  • WishWish Posts: 7,676 ★★★Triple Panda Award Recipient ★★★
    Lucky- at a boat show way back when ".... bend your knees?? What do ya need to do that for?". Promptly showed me a promo advertising card for a boat with his skiing photo on it, locked legs and all.
    >>> 11.25..a different kettle of fish. <<<
  • HortonHorton Posts: 26,965 Administrator
    Method

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  • Not_The_PugNot_The_Pug Posts: 575 Solid Baller
    Here is one I use on the wife:
    Me: I want a new ski.
    Her: You don't need a new ski.
    Me: I know, if I needed a new ski, I would already have a new ski, I just want one!

    Saying work with anything I want, doesn't mean I always get it.
  • MarcoMarco Posts: 1,407 Crazy Baller
    Rathbun to me after a few years of first learning the course:
    "You ski like a mokey f&%*ing a football"
    And the next year:
    "Don't tell anyone that I have been coaching you"
  • Director DarwinDirector Darwin Posts: 385 Baller
    One of my members after skiing a scary pass: "I'm just glad that ended before somebody got hurt".
  • HortonHorton Posts: 26,965 Administrator
    @Marco I am going to use that "Don't tell anyone that I have been coaching you"

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  • 6balls6balls Posts: 5,012 ★★★Triple Panda Award Recipient ★★★
    Chris Parrish w/Razor skiing, after punching me in the shoulder most of the way down the pass while sitting next to him: "That was IT! The difference between that and your other onside turns was like the difference between pumpkin pie and poon-tang pie...ya know what I mean, right?"
    Dave Ross--die cancer die
  • fu_manfu_man Posts: 407 Crazy Baller
    Lucky with his southern accent impersonating a British accent: "Millitree, Millitree, Why do the British talk like that? We say Mill-i-tair-ee. Don't you say it like that?"

    Me: "yes"

    Lucky: "They talk like they got marbles in their mouth."

    Me: "Why don't you ask Andy, he's British?"

    Lucky:" You know I can't understand half the stuff that guy says.......but he can't understand half the stuff I say either."

    So many Lucky quotes, so few that are fit for print....
  • lpskierlpskier Posts: 2,444 Mega Baller
    Lucky is my favorite coach, but this is not a Luckyism: "Strong like bull, smart like tractor." I heard this at a high school graduation awards dinner. Fortunately, they weren't describing my son.

    My favorite Luckyism: "You know when you are drivin' down the road behind a pick up and its got like a bucket or somethin' rolling around in the back and you are just waitin' for it to fall out? Well that is what I'm thinkin' about watchin' that guy ski."
    John Wilkins- Si non pro sanguine quem ludus ne. #iskiconnelly
  • Ed_ObermeierEd_Obermeier Posts: 1,339 Crazy Baller
    My one Lucky-ism that I can print - "You gave $700 for that ski? You're only using about $150 of it...".
    Ed Obermeier - owner, EZ-Slalom Course Systems
    www.ez-slalom.com
  • eddie_roberts_jreddie_roberts_jr Posts: 450 Water Ski Industry Professional
    Lucky told me "Whatcha wanna bend yer knees for? It's just gone make you shorter." And "ah don't think you're skiin' with your correct foot forward."
  • eddie_roberts_jreddie_roberts_jr Posts: 450 Water Ski Industry Professional
    I heard another one that came from Jeff Rodgers while he was waiting his turn on the dock at a pro tour stop years ago in southern Florida. It was really hot and there was a delay and he said "If they don't hurry this thing up ahm gonna blister." Everybody cracked up but Jeff was serious.
  • A_BA_B Posts: 4,047 Mega Baller

    If the rope wasn't so ____ short, I would have run that pass.
  • thagerthager Posts: 4,389 Mega Baller
    Drew Ross has always told me "Less is more". After years of pulling my brains out I finally get it!
    Stir vigorously then leave!
  • Hugh NicholsHugh Nichols Posts: 111 Baller
    I wish someone could get it thru my thick skull. My lake owner tells people don't pull so hard.....In my world the faster the boat/shorter the rope the harder you have to pull to get to the other side.
    Hugh Nichols
  • kstateskierkstateskier Posts: 524 Solid Baller
    Lucky: "if you can't do it on land, what in the hell makes you think you can do it on the water with me screaming at ya?"
    KStateSkier
    Bradley Beach - Lone Rock Ski Club, Missouri
    2004 Malibu Response LXI, 2014 D3 Helix 66"
  • kstateskierkstateskier Posts: 524 Solid Baller
    I remember Lucky telling Ez Ed one time...

    "You haven't ski'd one single pass the same as another, me movin that fin around ain't gonna change that..."

    HAHA!
    KStateSkier
    Bradley Beach - Lone Rock Ski Club, Missouri
    2004 Malibu Response LXI, 2014 D3 Helix 66"
  • Razorskier1Razorskier1 Posts: 3,425 Mega Baller
    To Lucky's credit, it was after skiing with him and learning his technique (which I have since quit using) that I ran my very first 35 off passes some 10 years ago. Funny thing about Lucky was there were lots of Brits at his place then, and they all LOVED HIM. I like him a lot, but it does take a thicker skin to ski with him than with some other folks I've learned from!
    Jim Ross
  • RBRB Posts: 66 Baller
    "Do you do this for a living?"
    No.
    "Then quit worrying about it."
  • rwskierrwskier Posts: 233 Solid Baller
    From a friend who skied with Lucky.
    Lucky - "are you a homo?"
    Skier - "What?"
    Lucky _ "I said are you a homo?"
    Skier - "What are you talking about?"
    Lucky - "well you must be a homo with your ass sticking out the back like that"
    Russell W. -
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